When it comes to any excuse to move on

How many of my        must I burn in the dust?
How many have I exploded?

In some twisted way—call it perversion, if you like—I must rip off limbs
    to be a body;
I must kill my thoughts, my attachments, my link
    to have a mind;
I must do to you—something horrible.

It’s too much real to feel—it’s sick. It’s fucked up.

I looked you in the eyes while you puked all night all morning and held your hair and said I want to take care of you—
    at the back of my head my mind my thoughts my soul I wanted to stab you in the neck.

Come afternoon you left my room with a hangover to drive nine hours to visit your dying 
    grandfather in Nevada and I heard that fucked up me say        beware

I knew. I knew. I secretly knew.

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