Ponderbum

I’m unsure of how to create motivation for myself.

There are dream versions of me inside my head.
People tell me to go out there and do it. It’s easy to say that
to a distressed person. Something positive and powerful--
they’ll go away. The great curse of seeing someone with potential
and telling them “You’re gunna be something someday, kid.
Mark my word: it’ll happen.” Am I? Will it?

Tossed up and misguided--and the things I see
inside my head are difficult guides to follow--
such intangible swirlings of gasses.

And how to plow forward when every which way
is a step in any direction?
Even following the good feeling has sent me to dark places,
and then some of those dark places follow me. It’s an interesting thing:
finding yourself.

Who was the first jackass who looked upon the masses and said to all:
you can do anything! you can be anyone! go forth!
So much hope has been given--I fear too much of it too freely.

Or those dark places would love to see me there again.
Well, is there such a thing as too many dreams?
But to choose one, and chase it, endlessly?

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